The Black Diaries
by Giantitis
Summary: Sirius records his deepest feelings about a girl named Lydia in a diary. Just a bit of drabble. I couldnt get to sleep so i started writing and this is what came out.


**Disclaimer: JK owns Harry…I do not. This is just a little bit of experimentation. My thoughts were running at a million miles an hour and I had to write something down and this is what came out. Please review and let me know if you think it's worth continuing either in Diary entry format or as a proper fic with dialogue. And if you completely hate it…I'd like to know that too…but be nice! Thanx.**

The Black Diaries

4th December 1978

Dear Lydia,

I can't stand this anymore! I'm going crazy just sitting here thinking about you. I know that you're leaving tomorrow but the reality of it hasn't quite hit home yet. I always thought you'd be around forever.

You're very special to me, you know. I haven't even told James how I feel about you. I didn't really want to tell anyone about us but after a while I felt like I was gonna burst. I know that my feelings are real because when I look at you, I feel warm and I can't help but smile. I've never had that feeling about a girl before. I just wish we had more time together. I mean, we only got to spend a few months getting to know each other and it seems to have gone by in a flash. Every hour I spend with you feels like a second and every second I spend apart from you feels like an hour. It just isn't fair.

I always hoped I'd be able to bring you home one day to the Black mansion so you could meet my fam…actually, maybe not. But all the same, I'd still have liked to see you outside of school for a change. Without always having to dodge suspecting teachers and nosy peers. Broom closets eventually begin to lose their novelty after a while.

I know you told me that you can't tell anyone where you and your family are going, but I hope you'll still write to me. It would mean a lot to me. I hope that you never forget the wonderful time we've spent together, because I know that your memory will stay with me always.

This is so hard for me to say in person because I didn't know if you felt the same, but it feels right so I'm gonna tell you anyway…I love you Lydia.

Your Sirius.

2nd September 1978

Dear Diary

She's the most stunning thing I've ever seen. A vision. We met in the library. Well actually we didn't 'meet' but she stood on the other side of the bookshelf from me as I was searching for a book on Advanced Quiddich Manoeuvres for the Aspiring Athlete. A wisp of her dark hair caught my eye through a gap in the shelf. I gasped and she looked up at me and locked my gaze with her piercing hazel eyes. She was starring right through me. After about three seconds I stammered out a few indecipherable sounds before bolting from the library.

After catching my breath against the wall of my dormitory, I kicked myself for acting like such a git. What would she think of me now? Me, Sirius Black. The ladies man of Hogwarts, tongue-tied over a girl! It was so weird! I never get speechless over a girl. What would James say? Probably something along the lines of, 'You've lost your touch, old boy.'

But Merlin she was beautiful! I mean the standard here at Hogwarts is pretty average, but _she_ could stop traffic! I have to find out her name! I wonder what house she's in? She's definitely not a Gryffindor otherwise I'd have definitely noticed her before!

I'll have to start researching tomorrow and just hope that no one else has managed to snag her already!

3rd September 1978

Dear Diary,

She's a Ravenclaw. I managed to catch a glimpse of her at breakfast sitting at the far end of the Ravenclaw table, reading a book. From what I can tell from careful observation is that she seems to be either a fifth or sixth year. But then again, one can never tell with beautiful women…looks can be deceiving. I'll just have to discretely find out who she is from someone who looks sincere. Remus! Girls always seem to trust divulging personal information to him over me and James. And I wouldn't trust Peter with asking a girl for a spare bit of parchment. It's settled then. I'll get Remus to find out whom she is.

I'm so smart, Diary!

4th September 1978

Dear Diary,

Moony wasn't too pleased when I informed him of my plan, but I think he was convinced, after much persistence and some careful bribery, that my intentions were pure. He said he'd work on it tomorrow, on the condition that I clean his half of the bathroom for a week. That might not sound too strenuous but ever since his little accident, Moony tends to shed about enough hair each month to knit into a dozen floor rugs. Unplugging the drain is going to be murder! But it'll all be worth it in the end, just to learn the name of my goddess!

He H

5th September 1978

Dear Diary,

Lydia. It's the most beautiful name to have ever rolled off my unworthy tongue! It suits her perfectly! It's unusual and mysterious, and yet, still feminine and exotic! Lydia. I'll never get sick of saying that name…Lydia.

6th September 1978

Dear Diary,

It turns out Lydia's a sixth year. But hey, that's ok with me! I wouldn't have cared if she were a first year! She's stunning! Ok, maybe in reality I would have cared…a bit…but the point is that now I know she wont be frightened off if I ask her out.

I _am _going to ask her out…soon. But it's gonna have to be different from how I normally ask girls out. It cant just be an over-used pick-up-line. It has to be original. Something real.

Gee, without the help of James, I'm stuffed! Coming up with an original non-sleazy pick-up-line is gonna be tough! Hmmm…maybe I should practice some with Moony. He'd give me the most honest feedback…I just cant let anyone walk in on that. I'd never live it down…James wouldn't let me ever forget it!

7th September 1978

Dear Diary,

I started jotting some notes down in class earlier. I came up with three rather good lines so I'm gonna pitch them to Moony later.

So far, I've got,

Hey, good-lookin! I have a cheek with your cheek's name on it.

Did you just fall from heaven? Coz I think I just tripped over an angel!

Hi, my name's Sirius and you are the woman of my dreams!

Who am I kidding! They don't sound romantic at all! This is stupid! I can't do mushy, I just don't know how! I must say that although I'm an expert in the fine art of seducing, I am hopeless when it comes to the fine art of wooing.

I'm screwed.

**A/N: So what did you think? Should it be elaborated on or left as drabble?**

**Please review and give me your honest opinion. **


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